Life – Anna Canter

Hello Morbo, how’s the family?

aywain — Sun, 29 May 2016 10:34:06 +0000

I’ll tell them you went down prying the wedding ring off his cold, dead finger. Well, thanks to the Internet. Is there a place on the web that panders to my lust for violence? Ah, the ‘Breakfast Club’ soundtrack! I can’t wait til I’m old enough to feel ways about stuff! But existing is basically all I do! You guys aren’t Santa! You’re not even robots. How dare you lie in front of Jesus? I daresay that Fry has discovered the smelliest object in the known universe! Well I’da done better, but it’s plum hard pleading a case while awaiting trial for that there incompetence.

Breakfast Club

aywain — Thu, 26 May 2016 14:01:52 +0000

And then the battle’s not so bad? Yeah, lots of people did. Oh, I don’t have time for this. I have to go and buy a single piece of fruit with a coupon and then return it, making people wait behind me while I complain. I had more, but you go ahead. Tell her she looks thin. No! I want to live! There are still too many things I don’t own! Okay, it’s 500 dollars, you have no choice of carrier, the battery can’t hold the charge and the reception isn’t very… I’m a thing.

Does anybody else feel jealous and aroused and worried? Bender, we’re trying our best. Perhaps, but perhaps your civilization is merely the sewer of an even greater society above you! Then throw her in the laundry room, which will hereafter be referred to as “the brig”. Is today’s hectic lifestyle making you tense and impatient? I just want to talk. It has nothing to do with mating. Fry, that doesn’t make sense. WINDMILLS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY! GOOD NIGHT! Why am I sticky and naked? Did I miss something fun?

No! I want to live! There are still too many things I don’t own! Ah, the ‘Breakfast Club’ soundtrack! I can’t wait til I’m old enough to feel ways about stuff! Bender, I didn’t know you liked cooking. That’s so cute. No, I’m Santa Claus! I barely knew Philip, but as a clergyman I have no problem telling his most intimate friends all about him. Hey, guess what you’re accessories to. Does anybody else feel jealous and aroused and worried?

Stop! Don’t shoot fire stick in space canoe! Cause explosive decompression! Bender! Ship! Stop bickering or I’m going to come back there and change your opinions manually! With a warning label this big, you know they gotta be fun! Bender, you risked your life to save me! Soon enough. Good man. Nixon’s pro-war and pro-family. Incidentally, you have a dime up your nose. Isn’t it true that you have been paid for your testimony? Hello Morbo, how’s the family?

Why am I sticky and naked? Did I miss something fun? I decline the title of Iron Cook and accept the lesser title of Zinc Saucier, which I just made up. Uhh… also, comes with double prize money. But I know you in the future. I cleaned your poop. Bender, hurry! This fuel’s expensive! Also, we’re dying! Fry! Quit doing the right thing, you jerk! Oh, I think we should just stay friends. No! Don’t jump!

Fry! Stay back! He’s too powerful! Oh yeah, good luck with that. My fellow Earthicans, as I have explained in my book ‘Earth in the Balance”, and the much more popular ”Harry Potter and the Balance of Earth’, we need to defend our planet against pollution. Also dark wizards.

Stop! Don’t shoot fire stick

aywain — Wed, 25 May 2016 13:32:22 +0000

It must be wonderful. Maybe I love you so much I love you no matter who you are pretending to be. Now Fry, it’s been a few years since medical school, so remind me. Disemboweling in your species: fatal or non-fatal? Just once I’d like to eat dinner with a celebrity who isn’t bound and gagged. Yeah, and if you were the pope they’d be all, “Straighten your pope hat.” And “Put on your good vestments.” Or a guy who burns down a bar for the insurance money!

Oh right. I forgot

aywain — Tue, 24 May 2016 12:39:19 +0000

All right. Well, take care of yourself, Han. I guess that’s what you’re best at, ain’t it? She must have hidden the plans in the escape pod. Send a detachment down to retrieve them, and see to it personally, Commander. There’ll be no one to stop us this time! I don’t know what you’re talking about. I am a member of the Imperial Senate on a diplomatic mission to Alderaan– She must have hidden the plans in the escape pod. Send a detachment down to retrieve them, and see to it personally, Commander. There’ll be no one to stop us this time!

Tell her she looks thin

aywain — Sat, 21 May 2016 10:52:29 +0000

Enough about your promiscuous mother, Hermes! We have bigger problems. Stop! Don’t shoot fire stick in space canoe! Cause explosive decompression! File not found. Please, Don-Bot… look into your hard drive, and open your mercy file!

I suppose I could part with ‘one’ and still be feared… Dear God, they’ll be killed on our doorstep! And there’s no trash pickup until January 3rd. I usually try to keep my sadness pent up inside where it can fester quietly as a mental illness. No argument here. My fellow Earthicans, as I have explained in my book ‘Earth in the Balance”, and the much more popular ”Harry Potter and the Balance of Earth’, we need to defend our planet against pollution. Also dark wizards.

Ladies of the evening

aywain — Wed, 18 May 2016 14:06:33 +0000

Oh, how I wish I could believe or understand that! There’s only one reasonable course of action now: kill Flexo! Switzerland is small and neutral! We are more like Germany, ambitious and misunderstood! Oh, all right, I am. But if anything happens to me, tell them I died robbing some old man. I saw you with those two “ladies of the evening” at Elzars. Explain that. We need rest. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised.

Tell them I hate them. Quite possible. We live long and are celebrated poopers. One hundred dollars. OK, if everyone’s finished being stupid. Dear God, they’ll be killed on our doorstep! And there’s no trash pickup until January 3rd.